Just Too Much
by Wicked-Witch-of-the-Midwest-18
Summary: just read it. i hate summaries. this is a One Direction fanfic and i don't own anyone except the girls.


I stare down at my wrists, the angry scars staring back at me. They've mostly faded by now, due to the fact that I haven't cut in over four months. Ever since I started going out with Louis. I still can't believe it, that such a famous person like him would ever fall for someone like me. I think back to the day it all started, a tiny smile on my face…

_This was it. The day I had been waiting for the past three months. I was finally going to a One Direction concert with my best friends. Both of them kept saying how good this was for me, and how happy I had been since we had gotten the tickets. It was getting a bit annoying, but the truth is, they were right. For some reason, those five boys had started to change me. From a self-loathing cutter to a much happier and slightly more self-confident girl. And now I was only three hours away from seeing them live from the fourth row. _

"_I still can't believe your mom managed to get such good seats!" Bethany said happily._

"_I know right? She literally ordered them the minute they went on sale!" Hailey replied, a wide grin on her face. _

_I smiled a little, not quite at the level of excitement that they were. I was more in disbelief at the fact that I was going to see all of them up close. _

_We got to the hotel and checked in, heading up to our room. And because we had the best luck on the planet, the theatre and the hotel that One Direction was supposedly staying at were right across the street. I laughed as Hailey and Bethany took up post by the window, watching as the girls lined up outside. A little later, I convinced them that we needed to get ready, seeing that the concert started in a little over an hour. _

_We got dressed quickly, all putting on jeans and our "Thing" shirts, the numbers on them conveniently corresponding with our favorite guys. Walking downstairs, I could feel my excitement grow, which was apparently evident on my face because both Hailey and Bethany linked their arms through mine, smiling at me. I returned the smile and we stepped out into the frigid February air._

"_Holy jeezus is it cold out here!" Bethany yelped. We huddled closer together as we waited for the traffic to let up so we could cross the street. The police officer waved us through and we ran across the street and all the way to the doors. _

_After waiting in a short line, our tickets were scanned and we were ushered into the theatre. We stuck close, not wanting to get lost in the huge crowd. Finding out seats was the next big challenge, but Bethany managed to find a worker and asked him where we were supposed to go. He pointed the way and with a quick thank you, we hurried over._

"_Dang, these seats are amazing!" I said, looking around._

"_I think you mean amaZAYN!" Hailey said, cracking up. I rolled my eyes, laughing, as more and more people crowded inside. _

_About a half an hour later, pretty much everyone was inside the theatre and the chanting had started. "ONE DIRECTION. ONE DIRECTION. ONE DIRECTION." It was absolutely insane how loud it was, especially up in the front where we were. The house lights went off and everyone, including us, started screaming our heads off. From where we were, I could just barely make out five people walk out onto the stage and take their places. Five spotlights turned on and, somehow, the screaming got louder as the faces of One Direction were illuminated. Immediately, they launched into _I Want _and everyone went crazy, screaming and singing along. I could tell by the looks on their faces that they were amazed at how many people not only knew who they were, but knew the words to their song too. _

_Too soon, Harry was announcing that the next song would be the last one. "But, for this one we want to do something a little special." he said, a cheeky grin on his face. Everyone in the audience looked around, trying to guess what it could be. "We're going to be singing _What Makes You Beautiful _and we want one girl to come up on stage with us while we sing." With that, every girl in the entire theatre, even the ones in the back, started screaming and waving their hands in the air. It was almost comical, and I watched as the boys hopped off the stage, into the crowd. Of course, Hailey and Bethany weren't much better, jumping around and waving their arms. I laughed, until I realized that they were both pointing at me. I tried to stop them, but to my horror, Louis was walking towards us._

"_Guys, I think I found someone!" he called into his microphone, smiling at us. Bethany and Hailey were screaming their heads off, cheering me on, while I blushed furiously as Louis took my hand and led me up to the stage. He hopped up first, then turned and helped me up. I went and sat down on the stool that was sitting there, still blushing and looking down. _

"_What's your name?" I jumped slightly as Niall asked me, covering up his mike so no one else could hear._

"_Emily." I said quietly, looking up into those piercing blue eyes._

_He smiled at me before turning back to the crowd. "Let's give it up for Emily!" There was a round of applause as the boys got ready to sing._

_After the song was done, everybody was screaming and cheering as the boys bowed and waved to everyone. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do, so I sat on the stool, not saying anything. I could feel my face burning, and no one was even paying attention to me. I had no idea how people could do this for a living. Eventually the screaming died down a little and the boys turned and walked over to me. "Come this way." Harry said, pointing towards stage right._

"_What about my friends?" I said worriedly, looking over at where they were standing. _

"_Don't worry; you can go back to them in a minute." Liam said kindly, smiling at me. I hesitated for a second, but followed them off stage. "Did you enjoy the concert?"_

_I nodded, smiling a little. "Yeah, you guys were really good! Can I just ask what I'm doing back here?" Just as I finished asking, Zayn came back with a poster and a sharpie. _

"_Here we are boys, let's sign it for this lovely girl." he said, smiling at me. I bit my lip, knowing I didn't deserve this. When they finished, they had me give my camera to a security guard so we could get a picture._

_When all that was done, each of the boys gave me a hug, smiling widely. To my surprise, Louis walked me back to where Bethany and Hailey were waiting._

"_Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me maybe?" he said quietly, handing me a piece of paper. I looked at him in disbelief. He smiled and just before he walked away he said, "By the way, I love your shirt."_

_The minute Louis was back on the stage both of my friends turned to me and screamed loudly. "Jeez guys, calm down!" I said, laughing._

"_Calm down? You were just sung to by One Direction!" Bethany shrieked. I rolled my eyes, trying to act like it was no big deal, but in reality I was shaking with excitement. _

"_Why did they bring you backstage? And what did Louis say to you?" Hailey asked as we started walking out._

"_They gave me this," I said, showing them the rolled up poster. "And they took a picture with me. And Louis told me he liked my shirt." I said, leaving out the part about the number for now. Both of my friends shrieked again, saying how they couldn't believe it. I shook my head, laughing, as we walked back to our hotel._

I smile to myself, thinking about how that night I had told Bethany and Hailey about Louis' number and the great debate over whether or not it was a fluke. Eventually I caved and called the number, and to our surprise, Louis himself answered. From there, our relationship had blossomed and every once in a while he would fly out to spend some time with me.

I look into the mirror, seeing the dark bags under my eyes and sighing. _"Be strong Emily, you can do this." _I think to myself, sighing again and walking out of the bathroom. I keep myself busy cleaning my apartment, the thought that Louis would be here in just a few hours keeping me going.

It had started the minute word got out that Louis had a new girlfriend. The hateful comments from so called fans, saying how I was no where near pretty enough to be going with him and how Eleanor was a much better choice. Louis had warned me and I thought I could handle it, but every time he wasn't around I got closer and closer to breaking. I sit down on the couch, opening my laptop. Louis had also said that reading the comments wouldn't make anything better, but I couldn't help myself. I take a deep breath before going on Twitter.

_You're so ugly._

_Why would Louis choose you?_

_Go die whore._

_Louis is too good for you._

Tears blur my vision as I scroll on, the comments getting worse as I read on. After reading for a while, my phone rings, the sound of "No! Jimmy protested." making me smile a little. I pick it up; knowing a text from Louis could make everything better. _Sorry babe, something came up. I might not be able to make it this weekend. So sorry xx. _I read the text and fresh tears well up in my eyes. In anger, I chuck my phone across the room, wincing as I hear the crash. I fling the laptop off my lap, running into my room and flinging myself on the bed, sobbing.

Ten minutes later, after I have sufficiently crying myself out, I got up, retrieving my phone from the living room floor. I press a button, illuminating the screen. Another waterfall of tears threatens to fall from my eyes as I read the text again. Shaking, I type a reply. _I'm sorry too Louis. I just can't do this anymore. _I reread my text and press send, dropping the phone onto my bed and walking back into the bathroom.

**LOUIS' POV**

I sigh unhappily, having just received news of a dinner that I am being forced to attend. No matter how much I beg, no one seems to care that I had promised my girlfriend that I would be coming home tonight. I know the boys understand, but we are all powerless when it comes to management. I grab my phone, biting my lip and trying to figure out how to tell Emily. Finally I type out, _Sorry babe, something came up. I might not be able to make it this weekend. So sorry xx. _and press send. I know that it's a sorry excuse and that I am going to get ratted out for it later, but I hope she understands.

About fifteen minutes later, my phone vibrates and I slide it open, mentally preparing myself for a verbal lashing. The reality is much worse. As I read her text, _I'm sorry too Louis. I just can't do this anymore, _my heart literally stops for a second. Fear takes over as my phone slides out of my hands and I rush to where Harry is standing in the living room. "Harry I need to go. Now." I say, out of breath.

"Woah, Lou, calm down. What's wrong?" he asks, one hand on my shoulder.

"It's Emily. I don't know what exactly is going on, but I need to get over there. Please, cover for me?" I ask desperately. He nods, gives me a hurried good luck, and I'm out the door.

Thankfully, I had never canceled my flight arrangements, so everything is still set up for me. I tap my foot impatiently as I wait in security and practically sprint to the terminal once I get through. Through the entire flight I sit, praying that Emily will still be okay when I got there.

Once we finally land, I run off the plane, thankful I don't have any bags to check. I get through security again and run outside, calling a cab and telling them to step on it. When we arrive at Emily's apartment, I shove a wad of cash in the cab driver's face and run up to the third floor. Outside of her door, I take a deep breath, preparing myself for whatever I might find.

I open the door, stepping into the silent apartment. "Emily?" I call out, seeing her laptop over turned on the couch. "Emily?" I call again, walking into her bedroom. Still no sign of her, but now I can hear a faint sobbing noise coming from the bathroom. I walk over to the door, easing it open. "Emily?" I whisper, my eyes widening when I see the blood. It's covering both the front of her and the floor. I rush over to her, reaching out to touch her shoulder.

"No!" she shrieks, flinching away from me. I can see she still has the razor in her hand and I gently reach for it. "No, stop!" she yells. I wince slightly, but eventually get the thing out of her hand. I toss it into the trash and pull her close, despite her protests.

"Shh, Emily, stop. It's okay now." I whisper, even though I know it's not. I rub her back, trying to calm her gut-wrenching sobs.

"Get away from me!" she says once she is calm enough to speak. I flinch, but don't move. "Go away! This is all your fault!" she yells, turning to look at me. Seeing her bloodshot eyes makes my own eyes fill with tears.

"Oh baby, what happened to you?" I whisper, touching her shoulder.

"What happened? What happened? Your stupid fans happened! I just, I can't take it anymore! The things they say about me…I just can't." she trails off, all the anger leaving her voice. My heart breaks for her and I pull her back into a hug.

"Come here, let's get you cleaned up." I say gently, helping her over to the bathtub. I turn on the water and carefully begin cleaning her off. I wince slightly at all the cuts on her arms, but keep going. The entire time, she doesn't make a sound, just stares at the ground, all the fight gone from her eyes. I finish cleaning her off and I take some bandages and wrap her arms up. I lead her over to her bed, helping her in and pulling the covers up. I kiss her forehead gently and take a seat next to the bed.

**EMILY'S POV**

**I can't take it any more, I just can't. It's all just too much. I stumble into the bathroom, digging through my drawers until I find what I'm looking for. I take a deep breath and make the first cut, tears streaming down my face.**

**The next thing I know, I'm waking up in my own bed. I'm about to pass the whole thing off as a terrible dream, but I see Louis in a chair next to me and everything comes flooding back. I choke back a sob, but the sound is enough to wake him up. "You're awake. How are you feeling?" he asks gently.**

"**Like crap." I mutter, flopping onto my back, slightly angry with him.**

"**I'm sorry Emily. So, so sorry. No one deserves this. You don't deserve this. I'm just…I'm sorry." he whispers, head in his hands. Seeing him like this, so helpless, makes my anger fade.**

"**Don't be sorry. If anything, I should be sorry. You don't deserve someone who's such a burden and a mess." I say, not looking at him. **

**His head jerks up, his eyes full of hurt. "I don't ever want to hear you say that again. You are not a burden or a mess. It doesn't matter what you read on the internet, I chose you just the way you were. I don't care about your flaws. You are beautiful and perfect and I love you." he says, his eyes drilling into my soul.**

**I don't say anything, my eyes filling with tears again. "You're the first person who's ever said anything like that to me." I whisper quietly, looking at him.**

"**Oh Emily…" he says gently. This time when he pulls me into a hug, I don't resist. **


End file.
